The Negotiator (Tragic Updated)

One painful thing about dealing with the accident is talking to the relatives of the ‘victims’. Technically, we weren’t responsible for the death and injury of the two guys. We were on a halt and the motorcycle clashed on our van. Based from the police reports, if the case will be filed to the fiscal, it will be most likely dismissed. One option was to have an amicable settlement – by helping them out in their medical and funeral expenses not as a form of liability but simply moral responsibility (alam mong mahirap iyong tao at kailangan ng tulong so dapat tulungan). They just have to agree on what we can provide them.

The problem however was to what extent we should support the victims. If only we were filthy rich, that could’ve not been a problem. We can cover for all the expenses even if we were not criminally liable. But we’re not rich. We can only offer them little help to ease their burden a bit. If they didn’t agree with what we can give, we could’ve been forced to just let them file a case against us. But that was not a prudent option for them as they are in no position to win the case. Therefore, the best option for them was to agree to whatever we can give.

While my cousin, mother, father, and an uncle were there in the precinct, I had to act as the spokesperson/negotiator. Although, I was not given the power to decide but they let me do the talking (since I’m the most diplomatic among them and less hot-headed, ows?). It was hard to do such kind of negotiation for the simple reason that someone died. If only I had the money, I wouldn’t be negotiating at all. But I don’t.

It’s hard to negotiate a certain amount of help to the other party who has lost a life. However, the point is it’s not our fault. Not just that, we found out from the relatives that the victims were actually intoxicated. That gave us more reason to believe that we’re not criminally liable. It’s just human nature to extend some help. (But it seems that my perspective of helping as human nature has changed a bit. More on this next post).

My parents can only give both families a total of 15,000 (Personally, I find it too small. But I can’t haggle for more from them. They may have more money but these are allocated for future expenses of the family). It took the families more than 3 hours to finally agree. They were haggling for more (actually, not the family but the supervisor of the motorcycle driver). He told me, “Ang hirap namang kausap ng maganda.” I didn’t expect him to have the guts to haggle in that manner. Just imagine all the pressure, the fear, the trauma, and the fact that I haven’t had enough sleep, (maganda pa rin pala ko kahit ganun, kidding) then, you’d get such kind of argument. Of course, I got a bit harsh and told him, “Hindi mahirap kausap ang maganda. Mahirap kausap ang walang pera.”

I made him realize the exhaustion our family was experiencing, “Isipin niyo na lang na kagabi pa kami dito walang tulog. Isipin niyo na lang na nanahimik kami na binangga. Isipin niyo na lang na habang-buhay naming dadalhin ang insidenteng ito. Nabawian sila ng buhay, oo. Pero iyong buhay na nawalang iyon ay habang-buhay naming maalala. Bumangga sila sa amin, sinakay sa sasakyan naming para dalhin sa ospital. Hindi ba sobra-sobrang hirap din sa amin iyon? Buhay iyong nawala. Nakita naming nawala. Konektado kami sa pagkawala. At ikaw, wala ka doon.” And yes, I almost cried while doing this litany.

The only consolation I had for becoming ‘the negotiator’ is the confirmation that I’m already an adult. (Yes, I am, yes I am.)

Meanwhile, I’ll take this an opportunity to ask a bit help from anyone who’s interested to. I want to raise something for the other victim who’s in the hospital now (in need of financial assistance). Do you think I should be doing this? But I believe I have to (may awa at puso naman ako contrary to what some of my students believe haha, see I can manage to kid and laugh now). The guy has 2 kids and his wife is working as a promo girl at SM Supermarket (the old one in SM North). On the other hand, the guy (injured) is working as a security guard. If you think this idea is OK and you’d like to assist me, you know where to contact me.

PS

I’m thankful to friends who cared to check on my condition. I’m a bit OK now. I’m still traumatized though. I’d like to believe that I’m content on being a commuter for life, haha. Maaksidente man ako, I don't have 'responsibility' to others. Well, life must go on. This should just serve as a lesson.