Tragic

I'm here in an internet shop beside the Project 8 QC Traffic Police Precinct. I've been here since last night. Only had about 3 hours of sleep. We had a an accident last night. Our car was on a full stop along EDSA in front of PWU because the bus in front of us unloaded passengers. After around 20-30 seconds of being on a halt (Ang haba pa kasi ng nasabi ko: huwag ka na bumusina kasi marami iyong bumabababa, count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 went a big bang), a motorcyce bumped on our car's back.

Abruptly, I went out of the car to check the condition of the motorycle driver. Unfortunately, there was a backrider in the motorcycle. Nakita kong nakahandusay at umaagos ang dugo sa kalasada habang umiikot pa rin ang gulong ng motorsiklo. Hirap na hirap huminga. They were struggling for their lives. I asked for help from the by-standers to get assistance from the MMDA. No one listened to me. Nakiusyoso lang iyong iba. I tried to hitch with other cars but no one stopped. I ran fast to get to the MMDA Office which is just approximately less than a minute away from the accident area. Luckily, a good-hearted taxi driver allowed me to get to his car and he helped me get to the MMDA Office.

When we arrived back at the accident location, the victims were already brought to the hospital. Hindi na naintay ng mga tao ang ambulansya kahit na binilin kong huwag galiwin dahil delikado. Isinakay nila ito sa aming sasakyan papuntang East Ave. I was hysterical, nervous, angry.

I was wishing that no one will die. But with what I saw, I knew both were critical. My cousin (the driver) and my mom didn't have the courage to see what was happenning in the emergency room. And because I was so concerned about the condition of the victims, I tried to be brave enough to see their condition. Iyong isa napakalala ng tama. May slash sa leeg na parang baboy dahil may phallic object na pumasok sa katawan niya. Iyong isa naman ay may crack sa bandang noo at ilong, tumutulo ang dugo. The people at the East Avenue Medical Hospital already advised me that the first man was very critical. And yes, he died.

I've mentioned in this blog before that I fear death that's not just. I fear a tragic death. I don't want to see such kind of death. I cannot imagine that this guy's death is connected to us. It may not be our fault but the burden, the trauma will be with us forever.

I still cannot think properly. I'm so disorganized. My heart has been palpitating much that I feel so weak. I'm so exhausted. This will pass. But I know this is something that will be with me forever. Nangangatog pa rin ako. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kailangang mangyari ang ganito.

Now, the concept of "justice" arises...

Sorry for this post, but I just need to release the emotions.

[More when I'm calmed. Yeah, I need to be calmed.]