A Rational Transformation

Since grade school and high school, I am a number one active kid in church. You'd see me in almost all the religious activities in school. I go to church regularly and even attend first Friday mass. It was because I grew up surrounded by religious. Some may be wondering, how a religious person can turn to non-belief? A simple explanation is: I was enlightened. I realized that I needed a rational transformation.

Back in grade school and high school, I started wondering why we have to believe in what our religion tells us. There are things that I didn't agree on and I really find weird but I still continued believing and following because I had to. It was all about faith.

But when I started to feel the need to follow rationality that mere faith, I continued questioning these things and started asking myself: "Why are you doing all these? Does being in a religion makes you really a good person?

I cannot clearly remember since when I have stopped praying. It was an intermittent thing actually. There were moments I find myself praying and still believing but there were also some points where I was really convinced not to believe. You know, it's not an abrupt and complete transformation: it's like breaking up with and trying to unlearn the things you used to do and the things you used to believe. It's breaking up with the idea and the way of life

Then I stopped going to church. Because I didn't see the logic of doing repetitive things that aren't really action-oriented. Praying structured prayers, taking communion, so what? Can these things change the world and make it better? Can these deeds help people out of poverty and misery?

I'm turning 25 soon and it's technically the 5th year of my non-belief(official). And I'm happy about this realization and the kind of life I'm living now. No, it's not because I can do whatever I want because I'm not bound by religion. Contrary, I am now more conscious of my deeds than before. I always hold myself responsible for every action I do. It's the idea of "here and now."

It's crazy but when you believe in a god or you're bound by religion, you may have the notion that it's fine to commit mistakes or bad things because the God I believe in is a good god and he knows how to forgive. I'm not sure with others, but I think the existence of such idea gives a believer more reasons to be irresponsible of his or her actions.

The transformation is not easy because of the struggles you have to battle caused by the people around you. People will start to question your personality if they found out about your non-belief. Your parents will (of course except if they share the non-belief with you)keep on reminding you about going to church and praying (to the extent of forcing you to go to mass). Well, in any kind of transformation, there are barriers. And that doesn't mean that you wouldn't be able to surpass these.

Some tips:

1. If you don't want to encounter someone raising eyebrows on you or telling you your the son or daughter of Satan, you don't have to tell them about your non-belief. If they ask you what your religion is, well, tell them whatever is written in your birth certificate/baptismal certificate.

2. If you decide to tell others (who may not be open about the idea of non-belief), just be prepared for your arguments and don't expect them to listen. They won't or at least most of them won't.

3. You don't have to tell your parents about your non-belief, they will just feel it. You can let them know about it slowly. One is by not regularly joining them in attending the mass. Just make them feel that something is different now. Of course, prepare yourself of their violent reactions. But you know, that too will pass. :)

[More tips later]