Most men are guilty of this, flirting around with a sales lady, a waitress, or even a gas girl; right? Don't you think it's a form of 'pambabastos' (vulgar)?
But I must admit that it's funny. Even I laugh at my Dad who would address a sales lady, "Darling bagay ba sa'kin. Darling may ibang size ba kayo niyan?" But at the back of my mind, shit the term 'darling' is quite vulgar (why the hell will you call someone darling if you don't have any attachment of sorts); so flirtatious. I also laugh at guy friends' stories of their encounters with waitresses in bars (the way they communicate with these waitresses who would normally wear skimpy clothes). Again, at the back of my mind, that's degrading.
Honestly, most of the time regardless of your position in the society (be a professional, a student, a waitress, a sales lady), regardless of the way you dress-up either. It seems that most women are vulnerable to receive rude comments.
Which makes me think? Do we women in anyway throw rude (bastos) reactions or one-liner against men?
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Some Thoughts:
Okay, I'm still not over the idea that other men's form of flirtation demeans women. Fine, I already get the point for the need to flirt or at least why people flirt. But there are forms of fliration that are beyond simply being flirt [Ang labo ba?]. There's a certain point where flirting appears abusive.
Just Appreciating Beauty
Understandable. Any man who would see a beautiful lady (hot mama or whatever) couldn't resist looking at that person. Well, that's fine. It's about appreciating beauty which is very much normal (even girls are guilty of staring at a good looking guy). But it's different when you make "the moves" that are quite off just to show you appreciate the beauty. Because apparently, it's beyond appreciating the beauty. You're probably after something (which until now I cannot define).
For instance,we had a party in the office.Eto lang, magaganda talaga iyong mga waitress ng Brazil Brazil. So when they arrived at the office to set-up, they easily caught the attention of some of my guy officemates (of course kahit ako, kasi talaga magaganda sila). There started the staring and the whispering among the guys. Okay, forgivable. But when the party was almost over, that we're the only group they were serving food to, the staring and the whispering were changed to "the moves."
What am I thinking?
I don't know but what gratification are guys getting out of it. I mean if for example, the girl smiles at you (out of your flirting) then what? Does it make you feel handsome? Does it serve as a point of validation that you're a man? Or are you doing it because you want to bring home the girl (maka-score, in whatever form)?
I'd understand if you're up to something like additional whatever or any kind of perks say a free beer, a free appetizer, etc. Pero kung wala naman para ano? Which is what they kept on telling me, it was just nothing.
Alam mo naman iyong good natured fun. Pero alam mo rin if awkward na dun sa part nung babae. Kagaya nung napansin ko dun sa waitress. Nakakaawa eh. So kung ganun, dapat di na itutuloy di ba?
There's a fine fine line between flirting and "pambabastos" (I think). I guess, flirting is fine probably if the other party flirts back (Okay I'm still learning flirting101, yeah right). Oh baka manang lang talaga ako at OA.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
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7 comments:
Check the etymology of "vulgar" first. Then consider that the situations you cite are generally informal.
But your post begs the question: since when has flirting been wrong? I know it's creepy when your father does it, but if he didn't know how, he'd never have met your mother.
There are situations when flirting or overfamiliarity is improper, like a court appearance or thesis defense, but in regular situations I see nothing wrong with it.
And before you say "it's because I'm a man," gay men and older women hit on me all the time. Leche, pang-call boy talaga ang appeal ko.
Maybe because I'm a woman (and probably an abnormal one). I just don't want anyone to address me as 'darling'(nakakabastos talaga). Baka makasuntok lang ako.
I understand that flirting is fine if you're after getting the girl you seriously like. But it's just different when you do it just to get "pogi points" from anyone.
There you go, another career opportunity: a call boy. (Flirting este kidding). Seriously, I haven't met, a lady who'd address a sales boy as 'honey' or would tell a guy he's got good butt.
Some older women do. I think it's because they know he won't take it seriously (good-natured fun). Same with your dad.
Also, young women beginning to discover the power of flirtation sometimes do it to gain an advantage. I do when it's necessary.
Re: update. Some guys are just a-holes and can't tell (or don't care) if the girl is uncomfortable. Otherwise, just think of it as practice for when you're actually going to flirt with some one you do want to attract.
Animals do it all the time; we're no different.
Iyon iyong nakakapikon eh, iyong a-holes. What makes it more irritating I guess is the manner by which they flirt "feeling guwapo" di naman.
Just read this blog before I go to bed using my Pocket PC and noticed that the rendering of the page/site is very very ugly having only 20 characters per line!
Anyway, maybe I should I reply to your post ..
"There's a fine fine line between flirting and "pambabastos" (I think)."
Yes there is. You can start flirting and result to "pambabaastos" (pag sobra na, i think) but never the reverse.
"Oh baka manang lang talaga ako at OA."
Baka lalo kang maging manang if your first relationship will fail.
Baka sobrang manang ka lng talaga na parang very bitter ang dating sayo ng "lahat" ng mga actions ng guy towards the gal.
Have you ever been flirt (in a way para makuha atensyon mo) while the guy courts you?
Sometimes flirtation comes positive to a girl especially if kung nagmamaeffort xa para lng makasagap xa na magsasabi sa kanya na "...you're beautiful today.."
Can't help but laugh when I read about "the moves..."
"Yes there is. You can start flirting and result to "pambabaastos" (pag sobra na, i think) but never the reverse."
I wonder if you guys noticed the reaction of 'Jen' (the waitress). Or you simply didn't care.
"Baka lalo kang maging manang if your first relationship will fail."
A failed relationship wouldn't cause anyone to become a 'manang'. Nasa pagpapalaki iyon at exposures sa tao Oh, and you've to note the reason for a failed relationship to actually end up sorry (not all split-ups are bad).
Oh mind you, being manang isn't parallel to being conservative (at least with my case).
"Baka sobrang manang ka lng talaga na parang very bitter ang dating sayo ng lahat ng mga actions ng guy towards the gal."
Being manang isn't parallel to being bitter. The thing is I can define which move is awkward and which is not (it depends on the response of the other party).
"Have you ever been flirt (in a way para makuha atensyon mo) while the guy courts you?"
The thing is, kapag di kita feel (I don't see any prospects of building a good relationship with you) I won't give my attention to you. In short, I don't allow "everyone who's interested" to court me. Well, actually my thoughts on courtship are unconventional.
"Sometimes flirtation comes positive to a girl especially if kung nagmamaeffort xa para lng makasagap xa na magsasabi sa kanya na "...you're beautiful today..""
Sorry, it doesn't apply to everyone. Not everyone takes the effort to look good. And some girls simply don't need validation that they look good. Or they only want validation from their special someone.
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