Coming Out

Those people I know who have decided to ‘come out’ now seem to have lighter existence. I’ve been trying to observe how their lives have changed (for the better) after the ‘coming out.’ It appears that they’ve lesser hang-ups or even none. Most of the people I know, whom I’ve suspected to have been keeping their sexual preference (maybe because of fear of rejection both from the family and the society, threatened to develop, etc.), were full of enviousness and hatred. They were happy (or they enjoy) seeing other people in pain while thwarting them from achieving their dreams or wants.

Well, this kind of behavior can be associated with their repressed emotions. As they are not happy with their situation, since they cannot fully uncover the real them, they tend to revenge against other people (Okay, I’m not saying all of them. But these are merely my observations and speculations). But you know, once they find the courage to divulge their emotions and present the real them, they are among the easiest people to deal with. They can also be among your trusted friends.

My sister hasn’t really fully come out of her closet. There are subtle actions and signals for us to perceive her being lesbian. But then again, she still couldn’t completely admit her sexual preference. While actions are greater manifestations of your real feelings and preference, it would be better if you can easily say yes when you’re confronted. That’s the thing, she still couldn’t directly admit her status (while we all know at home that she has a girl friend). Such makes her quite hard to understand. Because of repressed emotions and fear of rejection, she does things that make her family’s life a bit complicated and miserable.

Coming out isn’t actually just an issue among homosexuals. It’s everyone’s issue. Of course, each of us keeps something in our closet. It may not be our sexual preference but it can be something that hurdle us from becoming true to ourselves. We tend to keep our real emotions because we are afraid of rejection or even failure. However, if we tend to hold on to these emotions and wants, we carry heavy baggage. Yes, most of us speak our heart’s desires through our actions. We tend to be subtle (a bit hesitant) to show what we really feel and think about a thing.

Sometimes, we are afraid to show happy we are about something that other people might find us shallow. We are also afraid to show our despair and fear. Often that not, we are afraid to admit our feelings about a person (be it love or hatred), or even an issue (disbelief or support). In the end, we develop hang-ups that make our existence harder to manage.

Coming out is has always been perceived as a make or break for thing. But for me ‘coming out’ is the best thing that we can do to completely create our being.

But everything takes time. Before anyone can come out, one has to be able to set all the necessary strategies to make the ‘coming out’ easy or graceful (can’t seem to find the right word). He/she has to weigh all the possible outcome of that ‘coming out’ and be prepared for actions or decisions in line with these possibilities. We just have to remember that whatever is the result of that ‘coming out’ we have simply become fair to ourselves. At the same time, we have also become fair to the person or persons who are affected by these repressed emotions.