In as much as I want not to right something that's too personal in my blog (too personal meaning, making this appear as a literal diary), I can't seem to find another avenue (of course, aside from conversations with friends) to unleash these feelings.
1. To make a decision, you balance things out. To say that you're in a good shape, at least, there should be two extremes (to meet the balance) without external variable (ano ito experiment/research?). Why can't I simply have two things I want at the same time? I want a work where I can learn and of course somewhere where I can earn (relatively more than enough for my daily needs).
Equation One:
Good Pay + Less Learning = OK (I can learn from other avenue)
Equation Two:
A lot of Learning + Bad pay = OK (I can strive to look for raket to at least sustain my other expenses)
Equation Three:
A lot of Learning + Bad Pay + B***h Boss = I guess not OK (It pains the heart. It pains my existence)
2. Being nice is not parallel to being good. Even the most rude person can be good.
Not because your kind, you're already a good person.(Saganang Akin po lamang)
3.They say that one thing that can make you ultimately happy is contentment. But, being contented limits a person to strive for the better. It limits the person to think ofher possible opportunities. It hurdles dreaming. To be contented of things doesn't mean one has to end dreaming and striving.
4. Learning to be patient is something one can be proud of. But then, patience also has its limits. To be patient is very different from accepting abuse and exploitation. I've tried to be patient and counted the times I was disrespected. now I only feel total exploitation. Yet, I don't want to pity myself. Sometimes to be "maldita" if your in the right position would be good -- to let the people know that you could not be exploited.
5. "History Repeats Itself" ... and I guess this is true to my subsistence. I can see a pattern of unfavorable occurrences that had happenned in my 3 years work experience. Now it makes me think, can I be an employee forever?
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