Don't Worry About Me

Couldn't help it.

One, I am irritated and totally pissed off... Endless questioning and wondering.

Second, I am anxious that they worry about me. They don't have to. They should worry, but not on this aspect of life.

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Most people I've met would usually ask, "Do you have a boyfriend?" They couldn't believe whenever I utter the words, "I don't." They would wonder why given my age I still don't have a boyfriend. Their amazement would be doubled when they hear my answer to the common second question, "But you had boyfriend?" Again, I'd say, "I never had any."

I understand it's typical for a twenty-three year old to be involved or at least to have been involved. But age is not the measure nor the basis of getting involved at all. Another would tell me, "How come you don't have a boyfriend. You're good looking." (Ehem, that didn't come from me.) And so? If you think I look good, do you think it's enough basis for people to say that one is ready to have a boyfriend? Maybe they think that looking good allows a person to have a lot of admirers... But then again, what's the use of a number of "admirers" if the person I would want to spend my life with simply isn't one of them. The "look of love" matters.

It would be hard for people to understand (but I'd still want to try make them understand) my stance on this matter. I don't have a boyfriend not because I don't want to but simply because there's no person yet I'd want to be with. An officemate tells me, "Ireto kita, kilala mo na yun you've met him." Darn! I'm not looking for a boyfriend, and I am never open to the idea of "reto" for the simple reason that it communicates the idea of being desperate.
To be in a relationship is not simply finding a guy/girl you can be with whenever you need someone to accompany you. It's not about being abreast of the trend of being in a relationship. It's not about being happy.

The officemate said, "I want you to be happy... Be happy in another aspect."

Well, I am happy. If you want me to be happy in that aspect of life, it's not about looking for someone to be with but actually finding that special person you know you'd spend your life with forever. (Looking and Finding are different terms)

Maybe this revelation will be another schocker. I'd rather grow old alone (and I'm prepared for that) than to be with someone just because I need to or because people say I have to.

As the Bangles' song goes...

"Never marry, never ever divorce

Listen to the solitary voice

Tell you I'm single by choice

Alone but not

lonelyI've made up my mind

And chosen the right

It's a solitary kind

I got sun in my morning

Got love in my day

And I don't waste one moment

Wishing it away"

I hope they'll understand that I am happy with my life. I may be alone, but I am enjoying a lot of things.
DOnt' worry about me. I am happy. Just worry about yourself dear.