Constrained: Random Thoughts About Going to Church

Our Family has a Mother's Day/Father's Day Tradition -- to attend a Mass in the popular Church in Antipolo. I can't have any excuse of not joining my family during these two occasions. In short, I am constrained to attend mass thought I don't want to.

We came in late (because of the unpredictable Mass Schedule there). But with the short period of stay inside the church, overlapping ideas keep on flowing in my mind.

Random challenging thoughts:

The priest said, "You should not take body of Christ if you've taken any food/liquid an hour or thirty minutes before the Holy Communion. It's like preparing your self in accepting the holy body of Christ."

The problem with the Catholic Church -- it is very imposing!

I understand (somehow) that the "Ostiya" represents something holy -- the body of Christ. But, it won't turn unholy if a person ate something before taking that ostiya. If "God" is good, then he wouldn't turn away from his disciple who would like to receive his love and holiness just because of eating something else.

What I find even more depressing was when the priest said, "You cannot take the holy communion if you committed a mortal sin."

It appeals to me that the God the Catholic Church wants to present is a very discriminating God.


Although I don't go to church anymore (or go at least 3x a year "constrained attendance" I say), I still memorize all the responses and even the priest's piece. I was even reciting everything in my mind -- it's uncontrollable. It is evident that the church's is quite effective in infringing the mass' content to people's mind. But I don't think that's the essence of faith nor measure of it.

How can a place so jam-packed and hot be conducive for reflection, realization, and prayers? It’s normal for us to say outside the church whenever we attend mass in Antipolo church. Yesterday was different as there were relatively “few” people (meaning you can still survive to enter the church). However, it was still crowded that every time you’ll hear people say “excuse me”, “sorry,” or even feel the sweating skin of the other church goers. It’s no place for holiness I guess.