About My About Me

I am anxious because I try to care and struggle. I try to measure life in love as it is the ultimate way of achieving bliss. I try to put all the best that I can in every endeavor I make for there's no day but today and life is short-- vita brevis! (Values from: J. Larson and J.Gaarder).

Often, I find myself in a moment of disenchantment and uncertainty. Although I try to battle this sickness, I'm always caught-up into feeling, thinking, and wanting something else or even something more. But for sure, every experience I had, adding them all, will complete me. For peace, contentment, and real happiness could not be measured here and now, when I look back the life I've lived, I 'm sure I'd say, "I've lived a worthy, happy, and fulfilled life in love." :-)

This could be found in the About Me section of My Profile in Friendster. I remember, I wrote this after I've decided to take my hands off the social movement vis-a-vis my NGO employment. It's more than six months since the last time I had contact with my supposed to be friends in the social movement. It was a big decision – to leave the movement and leave the friends away. Realizations happen only if you've experienced things already. You can never know what's good or bad for you unless you try.

Given that life is short, I cannot imagine myself living such life of endlessly going out to the streets and shouting out loud. I cannot live a life lived just becuase of politics. I haven't dismissed the dream of a fair and just society -- a socialist society. But, such dreams could be fulfilled without being 100% involved -- meaning making the movement your life. There are other avenues to contribute for the betterment of the society. Politics and the social movement are just among these avenues. I don't find myself effective in in the social movement (people are overly intelligent). I am happy volunteering in other organizations with other thrust (grand but with lighter commitment).

There's Kythe -- to at least contribute in making sick children's life happy. There's Aksyon para sa Edukasyon to help in providing better public school education. At least, in these organizations, you are able to contribute (be a responsible Filipino) without or at least less politics.

It's sad that I've lost some friends because of the decision I made. Yet, I am happy that my parents aren't anymore worried of me. I am happy that somehow, I can help them in finances at home. I am happy that I am starting to grow in other fields. I am happy that though I've lost some friends, I am meeting new friends -- where relationship could grow and not be hurdled by mere politics.