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Sunday, September 16, 2007

Yeah, maybe

“You can only say that because you’re not in a relationship and you’ve never been to one.”


This is the typical comment I receive from friends whenever I give them advice about their romantic relationships specially about trust & temptations. I always believed that whenever a girl enters a romantic relationship, she should be prepared for any possible ‘cheating’ on the part of her partner. Not that I’m generalizing all men as cheaters but what I’m saying is something real. Every man (and even woman) is susceptible to give in to temptations. Even a married man can give into a one-night-affair (no-strings-attached).

There’s a big difference between your boyfriend having another girlfriend and your boyfriend having a sexual affair with another girl. The first is something unforgivable. If your boyfriend is into another ‘serious relationship’ with another woman, meaning he gives the same attention, time, and whatnots to that person, that means you can never continue with your relationship. Meanwhile, the latter is something forgivable. There’s a big difference with a serious relationship and a simple sex with a prettier or sexier chick.

Yeah I know I might sound crazy to other people but that’s reality. There are temptations.

While we can counter these temptations, we can never really know until when these temptations can be controlled. If you caught your boyfriend having a sexual affair with another person, it’s normal to freak out. It’s normal to get angry. It’s fine to cry. But to automatically bring an end to your relationship is simply wrong (I think).

Isn’t it that it’s also a common problem to married couples? I believe unless the relationship with the other woman has gone serious – meaning he treats the other woman better than you, when he has established another family – that’s the only time or situation that calls for an end in your relationship.

And yes, maybe I can only say these things because I’m not in a relationship. Actually, this is probably one of the reasons why I’ve never been in a relationship. Unless I’m ready to face such ‘possibility’ of catching my partner having an indecent affair with another girl, I can never get into a relationship at all. It’s more painful to be in that situation if you have not prepared your self a bit.

4 comments:

jenpot said...

sa akin parehas lang yon e - panloloko. pag nagawa ka niyang lokohin sa isang bagay tulad non, pano pa sa iba mas seryosong bagay. tsaka kung may asawa ka, isyu pa rin yon. imbes na sa pamilya niyo mapunta yung pera sa ibang babae pa para lang sa sandaling kaligayan. tsaka kung nagawa ka niyang lokohin sa bagay na ganon, pwede rin sa iba pang mas seryosong bagay. at panghuli, insulto na rin yon, lalo na kung mag-asawa kayo. ganun...

alwaysanxious said...

I saw it coming. Haha! Gogo! Married friends react!

Yes, cheating is cheating.That's not a question. The better question you've to ask yourself is, is such kind of 'cheating' enough to end your relationship with your husband? What I'm actually trying to point out is the idea that women (married or those in a relationship) should be prepared for such possibility of being cheated and should also be prepared not to take drastic decisions (e.g. putting an end to your relationship). of course, it's normal to go wild after finding out such thing (yes you can be a rambo-wife for that). But to have your marriage annulled (or divorced if applicable) or even end up your relationship with your husband isn't good for your family.

Let's say for example, would you separate from your husband because he paid for a whore for a one-night-stand affair? It's different when you found out that your husband is keeping another family and is actually treating that family equally or even more than his treatment of the legal/legitimate family.

Yeah, it may be an insult. But it's probably some sort of "panandaliang kaligayahan" that you can't give. Well...

Just being real about. Yes it's hard to accept but that is something that can happen to any married couples I believe.

Ask around married guys (I'm not sure if they'll admit though) how many of them have had an 'affair' with another woman. For sure meron at meron.

jenpot said...

nyahaha! ang haba naman ng sagot mo. ang sa akin lang din naman (ulit), ang 'trust' kasi para sa akin(kahit sa maliit o malaki mang bagay, sa pera man o loyalty o kung anuman) ay napakalaking isyu. Forever na magiging problematic ang isang relasyon na laging may pagdududa at hindi pagkakaunawaan. in return, hindi rin naman maganda iyon para sa pamilya. siguro for some women, ok lang yung ganun (lalo na kung hindi naman nila alam), pero sa 'kin kasi hindi. at isa pa palang isyu, kung sakaling gumamit siya ng ibang babae, mamaya merong kung anumang sakit yon no, mahawa pa ko! wehehe!

alwaysanxious said...

will post my comment tom. so wala talagang sumasang-ayon sa'kin. weird ako.