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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Raising Kids Well

It's quite odd that I'm a bit fixated on the issue of raising kids. It's odd because I'm still single and have yet to imagine myself having my own family. But the usual anxious that I am, I'm always confronted of issues that I've yet to face (and I'm not even sure if I'd ever encounter these issues at all). Nonetheless, I want to at least have an idea (or plan) how to go about 'raising kids' - something that I can share with my friends who are already raising their own kids or something that could be useful for me in the future.

Here are some interesting points that parents could probably consider to help them raise their kids well (ain't that organized though). These are based from experiences of other people and some information from the seminar I attended today.

Build a library

Growing up and seeing a wide collection of different books at home will surely heighten the interest of your child in venturing into reading. A friend grew up with a wide book collection of her parents (and aunts). As such, the entire siblings have learned the value of edreading. Of course, it would also help if the child will see his/her parents are also appreciating books.

Develop your kid's mathematical abilities


My former boss is very good in math. According to her, she attributes that skill with the way her father raised them (I think the rest of the siblings are good in math as well). Even before they started formal schooling, their father had trained them to add and subtract up to 4-digit numbers already. It's evident that such training has helped her a lot - she can easily identify errors in computed survey data by just browsing through the document. So if you want to develop your kid's mathematical skills, this could be a good method you can utilize.

Monitor your kid's development

It's crucial for parents to know the extent of their child's development. There's a need to screen if there are lags (or even lacks) in the child's development. At the same time, it is also essential to see if there's any progress. Early Childhood Care and Development (ECCD) Checklist a screening and monitoring tool is used to look into seven developmental domains of a child (gross motor, fine motor, self-help, receptive language, expressive language, cognitive, & social emotional). This is usually facilitated by Day Care Workers but even the parents can actually use the tool to personally monitor their child's development. The checklist also provides score scaling from which you can analyze the ECCD result of your child. (from Prof. Manuel's Presentation during Child and Adolescent Needs and Strength (CANS) Seminar-Workshop at ABS-CBN).

Apparently, such checklist is useful for parents to know the standing of their child. It can help them assess if their child is growing normally or there are some areas of deficiencies. The parents will have an idea of their child's weak and strong points. Thus, it will guide them on how they can actually strengthen their child's strong attributes and improve those that are deficient.

Hanging Thought

In the same seminar, the main speaker mentioned that children in religious society do better. Does this also mean that children from religious family do better?

Perhaps, the primary reason for my anxiety on raising kids well has something to do with my view of religion. There are things that I am still weighing as regards raising kids and religiosity. While my grandfather was never a church-goer, most of his kids ended as religious people (and I'm not saying it is something good *winks*). Even if he did not have a religion, he was able to raise his kids as good people (this is definitely something good). As such, I'm still contemplating for possible resolutions to this issue. Well, it's way too far but it's different if you have set decisions (or actions) by the time you're really confronted of the problem.

And my answer to the question... Nah, not all the time. Hasty generalization I guess.

P.S.
Just can't resist to share. It seems that Iterax (believed to calm anxiety) doesn't have an effect on me. Hehehe I'm taking it not for psychiatric reasons anyway. =)

5 comments:

missingpoints said...

re: books. If the parents show a disdain for books, then the kids will, too.

re: religion. Do you have a link to that study? I'm guessing there's a problem with the geographical scope of the study. I find it hard to believe that kids in theocratic Arab societies are better adjusted than those raised in secular European homes.

alwaysanxious said...

Actually, the speaker discussed a tool on assessing strengths and needs of a child. While discussing on religiosity/spirituality (as a segment of strength assessment), he mentioned that claim without attributing any source for his conclusion (IIRC). Perhaps, the context of his claim is a comparison between Filipino and American children (Obviously, I’m guessing).

I’ve noticed that educators and psychologists look at religion as an important element for children to be better (spirituality is fine as it’s another thing). Some audience actually commended him for such conclusion as well as his inclusion of religiosity and spirituality in the assessment tools.

The good thing about the assessment tool is that it only considers religiosity/spirituality as strength while lesser degree of it or lack of it is not considered as a need.

alwaysanxious said...

re:books

Meanwhile, I guess kids whose parents have apathetic behavior on books might develop passion (if exposed to other people who value book) or hate for books (if there's no external source for motivation).

missingpoints said...

The fact that it's considered a "strength" is disturbing. Anything that discourages skeptical inquiry stunts mental development.

alwaysanxious said...

I forgot to mention that assessment tool presented (CANS) is commonly used in planning for treatment approach to children/adolescent with disabilities, child welfare, & juvenile justice involvement.
If for example, it was observed that the child has strong ties to a religious community, it could probably be utilized in creating/planning a "solution" to the child's problem.

I'm not sure if this tool can be used in monitoring development of other "normal" children.

It's interesting to note that the more recent version I got from the internet doesn't have religion/spirituality contrary to the copy that was provided to us during the seminar. If you're interested, you can find the online copy here (recent and here (older :)