Months ago, I've been trying to write something about losing weight (in relation to Good Body's stage). However, I can't seem to finish that stuff. Ah, probably I was still in denial stage that I'm getting big (gaining weight) again. Here's a substitute anyway.
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"Maganda ka sana kaya lang mataba ka eh. So how would you attract people if you're like that? Di ba sa car, you'd be attracted first of its external design than its engine?" -from a friend's conversation with one of her friends.
We live in a society were there are set standards to say that a person is physically beautiful. One has to have good facial features and sexy (or skinny bitch) body to be labeled as a beautiful person. It's just weird that a skinny bitch who's mestiza but doesn't have that good facial features can already be considered good looking. Meanwhile, someone who has quite good facial features but is a bit big can never be beautiful. Most would usually think, "she could've been beautiful."
It's a reality that a person's first attraction would be physical (I'm guilty of that, too). You're enticed to get to know more about this good looking person because you're physically attracted. Like for example, in buying a car, you're easily enticed to buy a car that has well-designed interior. But once you get to know that the engine is not good, you'll lose interest to purchase it. I guess, that should be the same with being attracted to a good looking but not interesting person.
Alas, not everyone has this kind of thinking. There are still people who are blinded by the fact that only good looking and sexy beings deserve to be in a relationship. Just like my friend's friend. He thinks that the physical attribute is the only thing that can make him like a girl. If this is the kind of perspective you have, it would be hard for someone like you to be involved in a sincere relationship. Paano kung dumating ang pagkakataon na magbago ang hitsura ng babae o lalaking minamahal mo? Kasabay na rin ba nito ang paglaho ng iyong interes na mahalin siya?
Having a crush is different. You can have a crush on someone who's good looking and a hunk or a babe but eventually lose that feeling because of physical changes. But it's a different thing if you've already pursued a different stage. Let's say, you've already expressed your interest to know that person better. Along the way, you've observed changes in her physical attributes (losing the glow, gaining weight, etc). Then, you'll tell that person, "I'm sorry, I don't think I still like you. You've grown bigger. You're ugly already." That's simply unfair!
It's our responsibility to keep ourselves presentable enough. However, we shouldn't be conscious of our attributes because of the fear that no one will be romantically interested. I keep on telling people that motivation to look good should be the idea of feeling good and healthy. Don't lose weight because you want to please your crush. Lose weight because you want to try out new clothes and explore other activities that you're having a hard time doing because of your weight (e.g. sports).
Beauty fades (Huwag mo akong babanatan na may Belo, not everyone can afford to undergo medical operations). That's why feelings or romantic interests based on solely physical attraction can never last. Madaling humanap ng guwapo at maganda. Pero mahirap humanap ng totoong tao.
Personal Note:
If those people who've shown interest in me when I lost weight have seen me when I was too big, would they even be interested at all? The answer is a big NO. This is simply because they find me interesting not because of who I am but because of how I look. Meanwhile, if these people who've shown interest in me will see me now (that I've gained some weight), will they still be interested? I doubt it. Maybe they're whispering, "Yuck, iyan ba iyong type ko dati?"
Again, my favorite lines from Milan Kundera's Book:
********
"Maganda ka sana kaya lang mataba ka eh. So how would you attract people if you're like that? Di ba sa car, you'd be attracted first of its external design than its engine?" -from a friend's conversation with one of her friends.
We live in a society were there are set standards to say that a person is physically beautiful. One has to have good facial features and sexy (or skinny bitch) body to be labeled as a beautiful person. It's just weird that a skinny bitch who's mestiza but doesn't have that good facial features can already be considered good looking. Meanwhile, someone who has quite good facial features but is a bit big can never be beautiful. Most would usually think, "she could've been beautiful."
It's a reality that a person's first attraction would be physical (I'm guilty of that, too). You're enticed to get to know more about this good looking person because you're physically attracted. Like for example, in buying a car, you're easily enticed to buy a car that has well-designed interior. But once you get to know that the engine is not good, you'll lose interest to purchase it. I guess, that should be the same with being attracted to a good looking but not interesting person.
Alas, not everyone has this kind of thinking. There are still people who are blinded by the fact that only good looking and sexy beings deserve to be in a relationship. Just like my friend's friend. He thinks that the physical attribute is the only thing that can make him like a girl. If this is the kind of perspective you have, it would be hard for someone like you to be involved in a sincere relationship. Paano kung dumating ang pagkakataon na magbago ang hitsura ng babae o lalaking minamahal mo? Kasabay na rin ba nito ang paglaho ng iyong interes na mahalin siya?
Having a crush is different. You can have a crush on someone who's good looking and a hunk or a babe but eventually lose that feeling because of physical changes. But it's a different thing if you've already pursued a different stage. Let's say, you've already expressed your interest to know that person better. Along the way, you've observed changes in her physical attributes (losing the glow, gaining weight, etc). Then, you'll tell that person, "I'm sorry, I don't think I still like you. You've grown bigger. You're ugly already." That's simply unfair!
It's our responsibility to keep ourselves presentable enough. However, we shouldn't be conscious of our attributes because of the fear that no one will be romantically interested. I keep on telling people that motivation to look good should be the idea of feeling good and healthy. Don't lose weight because you want to please your crush. Lose weight because you want to try out new clothes and explore other activities that you're having a hard time doing because of your weight (e.g. sports).
Beauty fades (Huwag mo akong babanatan na may Belo, not everyone can afford to undergo medical operations). That's why feelings or romantic interests based on solely physical attraction can never last. Madaling humanap ng guwapo at maganda. Pero mahirap humanap ng totoong tao.
Personal Note:
If those people who've shown interest in me when I lost weight have seen me when I was too big, would they even be interested at all? The answer is a big NO. This is simply because they find me interesting not because of who I am but because of how I look. Meanwhile, if these people who've shown interest in me will see me now (that I've gained some weight), will they still be interested? I doubt it. Maybe they're whispering, "Yuck, iyan ba iyong type ko dati?"
Again, my favorite lines from Milan Kundera's Book:
“And if various parts of her body began to grow and shrink and Tereza no longer looked like herself, would she still be herself, would she still be Tereza?"
"Of course, even if Tereza were completely unlike Tereza, her soul inside her would be the same and look on in amazement at what was happening to her body.”
--p. 139 The Unbearable Lightness of Being
3 comments:
great book by kundera may bagong labas daw siya totoo ba? nga pala here's my new site freewebs.com/rayjohnism
During the time of the plague, fat was sexy. Everyone else was wasting so the corpulent ones were rare. Kung alin yung mas mahirap gawin, yun yung mas sikat. Skinny ain't cool, we're generally not attracted to flat-chested sticks either. :) It's the combination of slim body and curves that excites most men.
ray john: Maybe this is the book that you're talking about.
So kina-career mo na talaga ang pagba-blog? Why don't you register your domain?.
missingpoints: Haha, natawa ko sa "excites".
I'm now thinking, girls' basis for physical attraction is a bit different. I think, facial attributes excite us more than the physique.
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