Deviant and Outcast

My friend and I were discussing some things we feel we’ve missed. I told her, it’s hard for me to explain but I feel like the other things that most of the people my age are doing aren’t what I want to do or simply I wasn’t or still aren’t able to do. I also asked her if she sometimes feel to be a deviant from the generation or at least age group that we belong. I asked her, “Don’t you find your self different from the people of our age?”

Luckily, she affirmed the feeling. She also feels different from the people of our age. I often find myself not enjoying the things they do. I am not sure if I think to old for my age or I’ve simply missed a lot of stuff I should have done in order to jive to their (my age group) wants.

I’m not an intellectual geek but some may find me a bore to death. Or I may simply be an introvert?

1. Back in college, instead of finding me in a “tambayan”, a restaurant, or mall during long breaks, I’d usually stay at the library or just sit by SJ walk.
2. While most of youngsters would go somewhere else after class, you’ll find me to be the most “atat” person to go home. Or if there are assignments that need to be finished, I’ll stay at the library.
3. I can count with my fingers the number of times I watched movie during class days. I guess the movies I watched in between or after classes (I remember, I watched Spiderman1 – a week after depression caused by Dr. Dr. Robles).
4. For some, watching plays is something eccentric. But contrary to most people, I really enjoy watching plays. Maybe, I was just deprived of money and time when I was in college but I love watching plays (especially musicals).
5. I don’t enjoy watching movies with more than 4 people in a group. Again, you’d find people of my age watching movies in groups of more than 4 people. For me, I really don’t enjoy watching movies a la fieldtrip. I’d rather watch movie alone or be with a maximum of 3 friends.
6. I like John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Norah Jones. Of course, people my age would also enjoy their music. Yet, I doubt if they’ll enjoy music of the 70’s and 80’s and much more the 60’s. I love Bossa even before Sitti came in to the picture. Very few people my age would know Sergio Mendes (except for his “What do we mean to each other” and Take this love) and Astrud Gilberto.
   I attended a bank’s anniversary – where people are mostly old. The music was truly bossa inspired. There were some guests who I suppose were of the same age as mine. I am not sure, but I don’t think they enjoyed the music. I was the only person (talking of my age group again) who was (silently) singing and (imaginatively) dancing along.
7. I’ve never experienced going to bar or night-gimmick places when I was in college except when we had to interview a stand-up comedian for our video-report. That was the first time I’ve been to a comedy bar, if not for that, I wouldn’t be able to know how “The Library” and “Music Box” look like. I even had to ask for my cousin’s help to assist me with my report as I am not familiar with these comedy bars.
   
   While some of the people my age whom I’ve met would enjoy staying up late, going to bars and chillin’ out (I hate this word!), I’d rather stay up late listening to good music and chatting with friends or acquaintances who I could share things and of course learn a lot of things from.
8. I know there are people enjoying intellectual or at least sensible conversations (something not about cheesy love life and shallow stories), yet, not all people I’ve worked with or I’ve been with would be interested to talk about this.
   
   Not everyone (at my age) would be interested of talking about life and career in a la SWOT analysis approach. Not everyone (at my age) would be willing to talk about any thing (be it career, family, love life) life in a logical sense – some are interested to discuss these things in an emotional perspective.

Maybe I’m the one trying to deviate from the real world – if there’s such.